FRIENDS is all you need

FRIENDS is all you need

Today, I want to write about friends. How important are they in our day-to-day lives? What is the value of having friends—or not having them? Do they matter? Do we become them? Do they become us?

Whenever I am going through a really tough period in my life, it seems that friends start popping out of nowhere. When I publish a sad story, a song, or a picture on Instagram, it’s like they immediately smell my secret "Batman call" if I need to talk. They show up even before I realize I need a long, refreshing conversation.

Do my friends know me better than I know myself? I think so, yes.

When you have low energy, it feels like the world moves at a different pace. For me, I find I care more and listen more; I interrupt less—something that is a bit challenging for me, as my friends know! I am usually in a hurry to talk, taking every pause in a conversation as an invitation to keep going. I’m learning that true respect means seeking first to understand, then to be understood.

But what happens after a friend pops that magical question: "Would you like to talk about it?" That is where the deep listening begins. We dive into long video calls, and we release all that nasty, low energy from the vicious circle of overthinking. Left to my own devices, I’m like Quixote fighting windmills, or like the movie Me, Myself & Irene. It is a sin fin—an endless loop—of emotions dancing a crazy, un-orchestrated dance.

But my friends see the noble path. It’s like they take a seat in the audience and watch my "drama play." They analyze it and help me adjust the script. They help me see the characters more clearly, saying things like: "I think you’re being dramatic," or "Maybe you’re being too pessimistic." They help me step away from the lonely "me" and back into the supportive "we."

It’s easier to criticize the play when you’re not the one on stage, right? You have a better view of the whole staff, and it’s easier to see the truth when you aren't lost in the performance of your own character. Sometimes we just need a hug to feel we aren’t alone—like babies who cry the moment they are put in the crib, even though they were sleeping soundly on their parent's chest.

Does being hugged count as medicine? I would say yes. It creates a synergy where we are stronger together than apart. I’m a "hugger." I like hugging and being hugged by my friends. I think love should be shared when it is needed. (But please, do not sexualize this... we should stop sexualizing things like friendship).

However, we must be fair. They are also living their own "plays," and you must make sure you also have a spot—a chair—in their lives. This is not only about us. While we are the main characters of our own play, they are the leads in theirs. They are going through their own scripts and their own battles. They need you to be in the audience for them, too.

Sharing activities with your friends—like renting a house together—is highly advisable. You learn so much about people when you have to do some teamwork. You need people who have the same level of energy as you, or at least people who don't get nervous around your energy!

I have to say, every time I am in a bad place, I receive such beautiful energy from them. It lifts me from behind the curtains and puts me back on the stage again. Having people who support you, encourage you, and believe in you without judgment is absolutely everything.

I love my friends. Maybe I don’t say it often enough, but without you, I don’t know where I would be right now. Thanks for watching my play and making me a better performer every day. I hope I can also give you that energy of love, and a seat in my front row, so your play is also the best it can be.

Love you all.

What is a F.R.I.E.N.D?

F – Frequency: Consistent "deposits" into the relationship.

R – Respect: Seeking first to understand, then to be understood.
I – Interdependence: Moving beyond "me" to "we."
E – Empathy: Listening with the intent to feel, not just reply.
N – Noble: Seeking the "Win-Win" or "No Deal."
D – Discovery: Creating Synergy where 1 + 1 = 3.