What the Hell is Love? A Raw Look at the Messiest Human Emotion

I look around and I have to ask: What the hell is love?

I see people getting married; I see them having kids. I’ve even walked down that aisle myself. But then, I see those same people hating each other, fighting over the kids, and heading for divorce.

I see families that support their children with every ounce of their hearts—and then I see families that seem to thrive on conflict, where it feels like they support the "opposite" of peace more than they support their own.

The Mystery of Connection

I see people who haven’t spoken in years, yet they are the first thought in each other’s minds every morning and the last thought when their heads hit the pillow at night.

How is that possible? Is there a magical connection, or is it just chemistry? Is it our wounds, our traumas, or just similar backgrounds that seal us together?

Some people feel love more deeply than others, or they just give it more weight. Some don't overcomplicate it; they just live. Some have loved so deeply they’ve run into madness, while others have only ever heard about it through Hollywood movies.

It’s Not Just Romance

We often get stuck thinking about "romance," but what about the rest? What about the love a mother feels for her child? The bond between a pet and its owner? Or the way a true friend brings something to your table that makes your whole life feel more powerful and worth living?

Defining the Undefinable

Because love is so hard to pin down, every field of study has its own label for it:

By Art

Love is an aesthetic force and a form of profound attention that gives value to the mundane. It is the ultimate creative act.

"Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." — Iris Murdoch

By Science

Love is a neurobiological state characterized by the release of specific chemicals—primarily oxytocin, dopamine, and vasopressin—designed to facilitate pair-bonding and species survival. It is essentially the brain's reward system gone into overdrive.

By Politics

Love is a civic duty or a radical act of social cohesion. In a political sense, it is often framed as solidarity or the pursuit of justice for the "collective other," transcending individual desire for the benefit of the community.

By Religion

Love is a transcendent, selfless attribute of the Divine. Whether it is the Greek Agape (unconditional love) or the Buddhist Metta (loving-kindness), it is viewed as a spiritual practice of ego-dissolution and devotion.

My Take: Love is Unavoidable

For me, love is unavoidable. When it touches your heart, there is nothing you can do to stop it. No person, no word, and no action can truly erase it.

Maybe love was assigned to us just to make this world better—because, believe it or not, love is present in both the good and the bad. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but even the darkest figures in history were likely loved by someone once.

I believe the lack of love is what makes people miserable, depressed, and angry. It’s why we lose our empathy.

So, whatever love is to you, make sure you feel it. Give it to someone or something. Make sure love is the energy behind every action you take, because love is the only thing that can save us. Feel it, spread it, and share it—even if it isn't returned. Give enough love to this world that it becomes impossible to ignore.

Make sure love never leaves your side and always walks within your heart.

Because love is beautiful—and so are we.

Author: Stella Silvestre